you know I hated to close the door on you, you know I hated to close the door on you, you know I hated to close the door on you / hard earned / this is hard work that I want to do by myself / love is man unfinished / velodrome / hands are so important to me in stories / you can wear his old sweatshirt—you can cover yourself like a bruise / other people’s editorial mark up / future patterns / cursed to be a smoker because she always made him go outside / haven’t turned the light above my desk on yet / can tell when you push me in the kitchen when we’re playing that you’re being careful / ‘I don’t think he wants to fuck me’ / bones in my hands in my hands in my hands (if you say it three times it doesn’t mean more but it’s nicer to say)
none of the parts are really are meant to go together, not like a normal paragraph if that makes sense, they’re usually just my notes for the day so they’re lines and words and I put them like that so they’re easy to pull apart if I use them later + I don’t like how dot points look
I / STILL / DON’T / KNOW
smoked myself out again / residual light on the lawn / such a masculine jaw and these hands like like like / I wish we could take every path because you know I hated to close the door on you + when it was dark I called and you came, when it was dark I saw shapes / well, I’m telling you that I don’t remember it / well
ah thank you very very much, that’s so important to me, thank you, you sweetheart!
they knew after five years and you’re still not sure / I didn’t mean it I didn’t mean it I didn’t mean it like that / aphorism / did he get all cut up / all the extra words fell away a few years ago and I’m not sure why, I can’t remember reading anything in particular that would have caused it / a tiny cut under his eye / if you had a big house what would you put in all the rooms / ‘do you know what it’s like to love someone fiercely, even long after they’ve changed’ / still in his wetsuit in the hospital bed / something is wrong with me because boys never want to take me anywhere / called me honey and then just hon, called my darling without the g / first fight / secret notes about linework from yr ex girl / you sit there as t makes line drawings in the car, ‘last time I saw you, you were miserable’ he says and you look away from the road for a minute, he’s drawing the trees as they go past / I’m not scared of your body and the way it moves / ‘there were a lot of other girls and I picked you’ / can I do this bloodlessly
listen to jackrabbits / go long
I am so drunk // in love